Philip Larkin and my Mum
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| Philip Larkin |
I have always liked Philip Larkin as a writer, his words are carefully considered observations on the human condition; both fun and playful and yet he was also able to convey the dismal and the futility of everything with an astute accuracy. Anyone who has made a long English train journey through the shifting between of both rural and urban landscapes, will appreciate the brilliance of 'The Whitsun Weddings' (1964) and for myself, I find the words on 'An Arundel Tomb' (1956) an insurpassable account of church-crawling which captures both the detail of a church monument and also an imagined past to those the monument depicts and remembers: Such faithfulness in effigy. I was only to discover such similar observation many years later in the words of naturalist Roger Deakin.
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| My own first edition copy of The Whitsun Weddings (1964 Faber and Faber) |
Larkin as a person is of equal interest. On the outside he appeared conventional; a man of his time.., his conservative dress, his polite mannerisms, yet he was much more complex a figure. He was known to hold right-wing and racist views, a misogynist, his relationships with women were complex and non-committal in any habitual capacity and, he was forever a captive to the needs and demands of his mother, Eva Larkin.
On the 24th of January 1972, Eva Larkin fell in the kitchen of her home in York Road, Loughboro, Leicestershire. She had sustained a serious leg injury. It became apparent that Eva was not going to manage living independently and on the 30th of that month both Philip and his sister (Kitty) met with the manager of the Berrystead Nursing home and within days (February 2nd) Eva became a resident there; she was to remain at the Berrystead until her death in November 1977.
The Berrystead home sits back in generous grounds and hidden by trees from the Melton Road in Syston Leicestershire. I grew-up in Syston and attended the secondary-modern school next door (The Roundhill); the Berrystead grounds and it's trees were host to my school cross-country runs in the early 1980's. In the preceding decade of the early 1970's, my mum (herself very young then) went to work as a carer at the Berrystead home. It is only in this last decade or so, that I realised my mum knew Philip Larkin through her work at the Berrystead. Larkin's visit's from Hull are well documented (Motion 1993). At first they were weekly, then they became a regulated fortnightly occurrence; it is these fortnightly visits that my mum recalls.
Christmas 1971.
My mum remembers this time (laughing) "Getting the sack from the Co-Op" along with her friend Denise and them both getting very drunk the same lunchtime! Mum says that they both went on to work for a factory that made rubber soles for shoes; and again were dismissed from the shoe job. As they walked into the next village of Thurmaston following their second dismissal, my mum knew she couldn't work with her friend again; they were always in trouble. And so mum enquired and secured work at the Berrystead home; this was in the New Year of 1972.
Mum started working as a cook at the Berrystead and also helped out as a carer when the home was short of staff. Later on (when my sister Claire was born), mum began to work solely as a carer within the home; working Friday evenings and Saturday daytime to accommodate work and home life. My mum recollects that the time she came to know Philip Larkin was mainly in the years 1974 until his mother's death in late 1977.
Mum remembers Larkin's visits, always on a Saturday; a train from Hull to Leicester and then a bus. She would always take him a cup of tea and, mum remembers his politeness, yet the formality of his nature " Oh hello Elizabeth.., how are you today Elizabeth?". Mum remembers his height, highly polished brown brogue shoes and green wool socks. Mum also recalls his mother (Eva) hectoring him to never get married; she held a preoccupation with the subject. This is well-recorded in biographies on Larkin and later published letters, that reveal the intensity of Larkin's relationship with his mother. Alberge (2018) identifies that Larkin's view on marriage being 'coloured by warnings of it's disadvantages by his mother' and, this is also confirmed by Booth (2014) who suggests that Larkin could not marry as he was so involved with his mother and further mentions of the fortnightly visits to see her at the Berrystead; twice a week Larkin wrote to his mother, as my mum can confirm the writing was largely in the form of childish postcards with pictoral depictions of 'kittens or bunnies'. Although a few of these survived, my mum states that these were largely thrown in a litter bin later on.
My mum also remembers Larkin as being very 'permission-seeking' with his mother. She tells of Eva really only talking about Larkin's sister (Kitty) in the day-to-day; never Philip. Mum remembers Kitty as being of a horrible nature, whereas mum really liked Philip. Mum would see Larkin out of the door of the Berrystead upon his departure, and she says that there was always an obvious sense of relief wash over him as he said goodbye to my mum in the hallway; his dutiful visit done. The fortnightly trip to the Berrystead would coincide with Philip staying the saturday evening with Monica Jones at her home in Stonygate, Leicester.
Mum does remember the last months of Eva's life and Larkin visiting; his visits later reduced to almost no conversation and Eva being difficult to care for. as her dementia progressed she was frequently combatative; scratching and growling towards the care staff. Eva died at the Berrystead on the 17th November 1977, she was cremated in nearby Loughborough and her ashes later interred along with her husband's (Sidney) at St Michael's Churchyard in Lichfield. Larkin's later poems reflect his mother's decline in old age: see - The Old Fools, The Building. His own publishing of worked ceased; this making him decline the role of Poet Laureate. Larkin died in November of 1985. In his office at the University of Hull library, a ring-binder folder was found which housed pornographic magazines; the title of the folder spine read 'Staff Handbook'. He was never without wit.
Booth, J (2014) Philip Larkin: Life, Art and Love. 1st Ed.., London: Bloomsbury.
Larkin, P (1988) Philip Larkin: Collected Poems. 2nd Ed.., London: Bloomsbury.
Larkin, P (1964) Philip Larkin: The Whitsun Weddings. 1st Ed.., Chatham: Faber & Faber.
Motion, A (1993) Philip Larkin: A Writers Life. 2nd Ed.., London: Faber & Faber.
© Monty Lowe. Published 1st October 2018
contact: michaeliainlowe@gmail.com
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Christmas 1971.
My mum remembers this time (laughing) "Getting the sack from the Co-Op" along with her friend Denise and them both getting very drunk the same lunchtime! Mum says that they both went on to work for a factory that made rubber soles for shoes; and again were dismissed from the shoe job. As they walked into the next village of Thurmaston following their second dismissal, my mum knew she couldn't work with her friend again; they were always in trouble. And so mum enquired and secured work at the Berrystead home; this was in the New Year of 1972.
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| My mum circa 1972 at around the time she first met Philip Larkin |
Mum started working as a cook at the Berrystead and also helped out as a carer when the home was short of staff. Later on (when my sister Claire was born), mum began to work solely as a carer within the home; working Friday evenings and Saturday daytime to accommodate work and home life. My mum recollects that the time she came to know Philip Larkin was mainly in the years 1974 until his mother's death in late 1977.
Mum remembers Larkin's visits, always on a Saturday; a train from Hull to Leicester and then a bus. She would always take him a cup of tea and, mum remembers his politeness, yet the formality of his nature " Oh hello Elizabeth.., how are you today Elizabeth?". Mum remembers his height, highly polished brown brogue shoes and green wool socks. Mum also recalls his mother (Eva) hectoring him to never get married; she held a preoccupation with the subject. This is well-recorded in biographies on Larkin and later published letters, that reveal the intensity of Larkin's relationship with his mother. Alberge (2018) identifies that Larkin's view on marriage being 'coloured by warnings of it's disadvantages by his mother' and, this is also confirmed by Booth (2014) who suggests that Larkin could not marry as he was so involved with his mother and further mentions of the fortnightly visits to see her at the Berrystead; twice a week Larkin wrote to his mother, as my mum can confirm the writing was largely in the form of childish postcards with pictoral depictions of 'kittens or bunnies'. Although a few of these survived, my mum states that these were largely thrown in a litter bin later on.
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| Philip with his mother Eva Larkin |
My mum also remembers Larkin as being very 'permission-seeking' with his mother. She tells of Eva really only talking about Larkin's sister (Kitty) in the day-to-day; never Philip. Mum remembers Kitty as being of a horrible nature, whereas mum really liked Philip. Mum would see Larkin out of the door of the Berrystead upon his departure, and she says that there was always an obvious sense of relief wash over him as he said goodbye to my mum in the hallway; his dutiful visit done. The fortnightly trip to the Berrystead would coincide with Philip staying the saturday evening with Monica Jones at her home in Stonygate, Leicester.
Mum does remember the last months of Eva's life and Larkin visiting; his visits later reduced to almost no conversation and Eva being difficult to care for. as her dementia progressed she was frequently combatative; scratching and growling towards the care staff. Eva died at the Berrystead on the 17th November 1977, she was cremated in nearby Loughborough and her ashes later interred along with her husband's (Sidney) at St Michael's Churchyard in Lichfield. Larkin's later poems reflect his mother's decline in old age: see - The Old Fools, The Building. His own publishing of worked ceased; this making him decline the role of Poet Laureate. Larkin died in November of 1985. In his office at the University of Hull library, a ring-binder folder was found which housed pornographic magazines; the title of the folder spine read 'Staff Handbook'. He was never without wit.
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| Collected Poems - Faber & Faber (1988) |
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| The Andrew Motion Biography (1993) |
References:
Alberge, D (2018) In. Newly seen letters show Philip Larkin's close relationship with Mother. In. The Gaurdian (Culture) published 15-012018.
Larkin, P (1988) Philip Larkin: Collected Poems. 2nd Ed.., London: Bloomsbury.
Larkin, P (1964) Philip Larkin: The Whitsun Weddings. 1st Ed.., Chatham: Faber & Faber.
Motion, A (1993) Philip Larkin: A Writers Life. 2nd Ed.., London: Faber & Faber.
© Monty Lowe. Published 1st October 2018
contact: michaeliainlowe@gmail.com
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